So, it's been six months since I moved to this pretty little place in Kandivali. It's like another corner of the world. I didn't get it for free; I spent three months looking for the perfect house which obviously meant I spent considerable amount of time and money to get here, to find my corner of the world.
But six months were chopped off my life with deadlines and I did not get any time to enjoy the loveliness this house is till I fortunately had some unfortunate experiences at work, unfortunate enough for me to put an end to my work woes.
Unemployment has never made anyone so happier; a lot of you have already witnessed the glow.
So, here now, I have got myself some freedom to spend evenings sitting in this beautiful balcony, reading, writing, watching and speculating what colour the dusk would bring.
Only to be rudely shaken out of my beautiful dream (happiness in this city is a dream, isn’t it?) by my landlady who decided that I should move out. Why? Because she suddenly realized that she needed to renovate her own house. The large scale renovation she anticipated would go on for about 4 months. So, she wants her apartment back.
That's pretty convenient for her. My landlady gently told me how she is just not able to find a place on rent, to stay for a few months while her house gets renovated. Understandably, if anyone has to be in trouble in this case, it should be me and not her. Fair play?
To continue with my story, the mighty landlady came equipped with about 10 of her 'relatives' (all male) to discuss the matter with me, to tell me why I must vacate the house. Although when I demanded to be introduced to her companions, she said, “that’s my brother, that’s my uncle…….and …relatives from native place.” Her eyes did not seem to detect her brothers and uncles right and shifted painfully from one person to another. I made a little joke about how she never brought any of her brothers and uncles when she came to sign the agreement and collect her cheques but she didn't smile. I believe she's a little dense about such refined humor.
Now she has to get her house fixed before the monsoons. “You should come and see my house in monsoons”, she said reproachingly, “the roof leaks and there’s water all over the place.”
"Lady, I think your brain just leaked all its grey cells. It's not monsoon. It’s a miserly winters here, just the kind this creepy city deserves. And you just gave away your evil plans to wreck this city's last hope to keep me.
Wouldn't you have known this before? Monsoon was well over in this city when you decided to let your house."
So, a little conversation down the mouth, it became apparent that she was well aware of it and had planned to let her house only for six months. Though that's not what she had declared while letting the house. But that’s okay. Everyone deserves to make money, even if that means cheating, lying or putting someone in serious trouble. (Thanks to all those I have worked with in my tiny advertising career, it’s because of you I have such high morals.)
And if she had been honest, would anyone have actually wasted their time, energy and money to move to this place....for only six months?
But did she really have any choice, poor woman? She only has three houses in Mumbai and one can not blame her for being conniving when all that she wants is a roof without leaks. I’m with her on that. All these silly tenants (that’s me, right) want the house for one WHOLE year. Mostly, they dream of renewing the agreements as well. Such brazen expectations, you'd think!
Obviously, the leave and license agreement states that the house owner can give one month's notice at any time and there's nothing the tenant can do about it. So technically, your landlord can give you the apartment and ask you to vacate after a month also. No need for a valid reason. And reasons can be created anyways.
Oh yes, I can do the regular drama and at least give her a tough time before I go. But then, I am an Outsider and she is a Maharashtrian. Game over, I'd say.
I’m envious of the evil smirk my landlady must be wearing in her secret time. Damn!
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It's not my first dip in the Mumbai spirit. Five years in this city have earned me a regional hangover, cheap intoxication notwithstanding.
Amusing? Not really.